A Real Reluctant Hero
by Charles Xavier
Summary: The world is threatened by the terrorist organization Cobra, and their monstrous creations, the Angels. Humanity's last hope depends on America's top secret force, codenamed G.I. Joe; where Shinji Ikari, alias Duke, has just been recruited.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Evangelion belongs to Gainax and G.I. Joe belongs to Hasbro respectively. No profit is being made out of this work.

…

G.I. Joe: The code name for America's daring, highly trained special mission force. Its purpose: to defend human freedom against Cobra.

Cobra: A ruthless terrorist organization determined to rule the world.

…

Prologue

…

Somewhere, deep within an isolated complex, a tall male figure stepped under a spotlight, where a young girl was resting ever so silently in her steel bathtub. She was undisturbed by her visitor's haunting presence. The figure approached her without harm, sitting on a stool beside her, observing her like a concerned father would towards his only daughter.

The girl's skin was as pale as death. The figure gently stroked her blue hair. He hushed her, leaning down to her ear, and whispering:

"How was your rest, dear?"

"The same." she replied so softly. "I missed you."

"But I was only gone for a few hours."

"Still…it's lonely in here. It always is."

The girl turned her head to face the figure, staring through his tinted glasses. She felt comfortable being with him…and seeing his expressionless face.

"My, you're growing up so fast…and getting stronger…" The Figure smiled, wiping a tear from her delicate cheek with his gloved hand. "…unlike my other children. The Angels are becoming restless these days. But they combined…are nothing as special as compared to you…my precious child."

"Am I ready yet?" The girl asked.

"Yes...you are ready now." The figure answered agreeably. "I am honored to say that the time has finally come for you to try out your new toy." He handed her a clean plug suit in his arms, ready to be freshly worn. "Make us proud. Make the people know the meaning of true terror. Make the world tremble and let it burn."

The girl rose from her tub…her body exposed and her back bearing a large tattoo; the red insignia of Cobra.

"Yes, father." Rei replied.

…

A Real Reluctant Hero

By Charles Xavier

…

Chapter One

…

On September 13th 2000, Cobra unleashed one of their deadliest biological weapons, dubbed Angels, on Antarctica, breaking the polar ice caps where billions perished from massive flooding. The unstoppable chaos caused global panic, triggering civil wars and conflicts amongst nations worldwide. On February 14th 2001, the Valentine Treaty was passed to formally end the violent bloodshed. Over half of the world's population had been wiped out while animal and plant life continued to struggle for survival. In order to counter Cobra's uprising threat, the United States government appointed Gendo Ikari, known also as General Hawk, to command a secret army; an army that would rise up against trouble wherever it may be…an army that would fight for freedom over land, sea and air…an army codenamed G.I. Joe.

…

"Hello…? Hello…?"

The phone line was dead. What luck for Shinji Ikari. He'd been summoned to Tokyo-3 and nobody was there to pick him up. The city was deserted, looked almost abandoned even. Shinji wondered if he was even safe wondering about the streets at this time. Was this just another drill, or was Cobra about to strike another attack?

Everything was calm, even the crickets were still chirping in the trees, so attack seemed unlikely. The tranquillity was broken, however, when Shinji heard the faint sound of an engine roaring in the distance.

"Who's that?" Shinji put his hand over his eyes to block the sun's rays.

A green buggy raced along the road, skidding so suddenly and braking sideways when the driver saw Shinji by the sidewalk.

"Jump in." she said, giving a welcoming smile. "Sorry I'm late."

Shinji stood motionless for a moment, his eyes glued at the vehicle's off-road tires and heavy weaponry.

"What's the matter? Never seen an A.W.E. Striker before?"

"A…what?" Shinji raised his brow confused.

The driver lowered her sunglasses to have a good look at the boy. He sure wasn't what she expected the General's son to be like. "You really don't know much about your dad's business, do you?" she said, shaking her head.

…

"The name's Lady Jaye. But you can call me Misato. I'll be taking good care of you from here on. So you're Hawk's son, huh?"

"Hawk?" Shinji frowned.

Misato sighed, shaking her head again in disbelief. "Your dad, Hawk? That's his codename. Don't you know what a codename is? Every Joe has one."

"What's a Joe?"

"That's me, and all of us in G.I. Joe. We're the guys saving your asses from those Cobra creeps and their ugly pets." Misato read through Shinji's crumpled letter and inspected his ID card as she drove along the empty streets. "See, check your ID! Even YOU'VE got a codename: Duke."

Duke…how befitting…a shame that Shinji didn't bother reading his ID card before he came to Tokyo-3.

Misato found her own beach photo amongst Shinji's papers, including a dated photo of a younger Gendo, dressed in a lab coat, accompanied by two of his colleagues; his wife Yui Ikari, and behind her, an ominous looking figure that Misato recognized at once. "Hey, isn't that Brian Binder?"

"Yeah." Shinji confirmed with a nod. "Why do you ask?"

"He and Hawk used to work together at Gehirn, back in their heyday. Too bad they went their separate ways in the end."

"Where is he now?"

Misato shrugged without any idea. "I haven't got a clue. Probably died during the September 13th event, or shortly after…who knows? Hawk doesn't really talk much about him."

Shinji was startled when his ears caught the sound of rapid gunfire from the clouds. A small hail of bullets sparked the road, nearly hitting their wheels. Misato lifted her eyes to the sky…and spotted a Cobra Rattler, circling them, and preparing to draw a second fire at them.

Strange…there was only one Rattler. Usually they'd swarm in groups against the Joes. That was unless…

"Oh, shit…" Misato feared the worst when the thought hit her. "…God in heaven, please don't tell me it's HIM."

Cobra pilot, Wild Weasel, kept his sight on the Striker below. "My, oh my! Whadda we have here? Two sssweet and sssour chickens on the barbecue grill." he sneered, locking in on his targets.

"Shinji, hold on! This is gonna get bumpy!" Misato floored the accelerator.

A cat-and-mouse chase ensued. Misato's driving skills were put to the test against Wild Weasel's incredible talent behind the stick. Bullets flied from the aircraft's cannons in a frenzy, frightening poor Shinji as he covered his ears. Misato kept her eyes on the roads, making sharp turns across junctions when possible to avoid the Cobra's accurate aim.

"I gotcha dead on my sssights! I gotcha! I gotcha! I gotcha!" Wild Weasel exclaimed in joy, launching two AEA-56 short-range missiles at the Striker.

"MISS JAYE!" Shinji cried.

"What is it? Can't you see I'm busy trying to shake off this psycho maniac?"

"Well, can't you see we're about to be obliterated into ash?" Shinji alerted Misato of the two missiles behind their tail…gaining on them fast.

Misato tried to think fast on her wheels. She looked around, trying to find anything on the road that could save them from this dire situation. Then she spotted a ramp up ahead.

"Buckle up." Misato ordered Shinji to fasten his seatbelt.

The Striker rushed up onto the ramp at maximum speed. Misato locked her driving wheel left as their vehicle performed a three-sixty degree spin in mid-air, just barely avoiding contact with the missiles as they missed by an inch…and consequently destroyed an empty cargo truck at the end of the road.

Misato spun the Striker around, aiming the vehicle's cannon at the Rattler. "EAT THIS, WEASEL BRAINS!" she shouted in retaliation, firing at the Rattler as it flew right above their heads with a terrifying screech.

"DAMN YOU, WITCH!" Wild Weasel yelled, noticing the minor scratches on his beloved Rattler's wing.

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" Shinji said, his voice trembling.

"Of course I do!" A confident Misato answered. "We're almost at the Pit!"

She was careful not to steer the Striker off the edge of the cliff as they ascended uphill, nearing safety to an opening hidden tunnel, cleverly concealed behind the bushes and trees. Wild Weasel wasn't far behind them, and wasn't willing to give up the chase. He fired more bullets, hoping to get a clean shot…but not quick enough when the Striker disappeared out of his sight.

The Cobra Rattler flew away, retuning to its headquarters…

"Phew!" Misato sighed in great relief. "That was a close call. As bad as he gets, I gotta admit, Wild Weasel's one heck of a damn pilot. Be extra careful with that guy if you ever run into him again."

She patted Shinji on the shoulder, hoping to calm his nerves from the recent attack. He was more worried about running into something worse through the narrow tunnel. Fortunately though, he had nothing else to fear.

An R.A.M. motorcycle passed them by, driven by a Joe.

"Welcome back, Lady Jaye!" Stalker waved at them.

Then followed a V.A.M.P. jeep, driven by another.

"HEY, WATCH IT!" yelled the ill-tempered Joe, honking his horn when he nearly hit Misato and Shinji. "GET OFF THE ROAD, JAYE! YOU LOUSY OLD-"

"AH, BLOW IT OUR YOUR NOSE, LEATHERNECK!" Misato yelled back. "Don't mind him, Shinji. That guy can be such a pushover…especially when he's with Wet-Suit."

"Um, where did you say we were heading again?" Shinji asked.

…

It was unlike anything he had seen in his life. Who would have thought that right beneath Tokyo-3's soil, existed a multi-level, subterranean world populated with Joes and their advanced, state-of-the-art hardware and technology? Tanks, boats, choppers, jets…this place had everything.

Shinji was breathless and out of words as the elevator descended down through every busy floor, where Joes were constantly in training. And to think that his own father ran this whole complex like clockwork…

"Welcome to the Pit, Shinji." Misato gave an amiable wink at him. "Whaddya think so far? Pretty neat, huh?"

"This…is my father's…work?" Shinji said, overwhelmed.

The elevator stopped suddenly and the doors slid open.

"Oh!" Misato was surprised to see her friend step into the elevator, and she didn't look pleased. "Ritsuko…"

"That's Mainframe to you, Lady Jaye, remember?" The blond haired Joe sternly corrected her. "You're twelve minutes late. What happened to you?"

"Sorry." Misato grinned sheepishly. "We had a little run-in with a weasel out there."

"Well, stay alert." Ritsuko warned her. "We can't afford letting Cobra find our secret base."

"Understood." Misato concurred, turning her attention back to Shinji. "Um, may I please introduce you to one of G.I. Joe's top computer operatives and head of our technology division: Ristuko Akagi…ah, I mean…Mainframe."

"Um…nice to meet you." Shinji said politely.

"A pleasure." Ritsuko nodded. "Did you like my Strikers? Comfortable ride for you?"

Shinji thought it was anything but…

"No worries. I'm still working on it; have to fix a few problems on their target designators. I'm also hoping to get the S.H.A.R.C.s completed soon."

Before Shinji could ask what a S.H.A.R.C. was, the elevator came to a firm halt. They had reached the bottom floor and the doors slid open.

"Attention, Joes!" Misato announced as she stepped out to greet the assembled Joes. "This is the guy you've all been talking about: Duke…"

("Duke…") Shinji still found it hard to believe that was his codename.

"…our newest recruit. He's here to help us put an end to Cobra and their nasty deeds once and for all. Let's give a big shout-out for him. YO, JOE!"

"YO…JOE?"

The newcomer waved bashfully at the Joes. Many became immediately sceptical of the young boy, who appeared to them as nothing more than a typical, run-of-the-mill school kid. Amongst them was one with a thick New York accent.

"Jaye, um, you sure this is Hawk's son?" Tunnel Rat scratched his head.

"Affirmative." Misato confirmed, ignoring the uncertain faces she saw. "Now, I know many of you are still worried about those Angels out there, but don't fret, Duke has been summoned here to pilot the Evangelion Unit-01 for us."

Some of the Joes gasped.

"You mean, that big purple mecha thing over there?" said one of them.

"Yes, Gung-Ho." Misato replied, shifting her eyes to where his thumb was pointing. "That so-called 'big purple mecha thing' back there."

Shinji wasn't sure what they were talking about. That was until he dropped his papers when his eyes feasted upon the cybernetic yet humanoid creation: Evangelion Unit-01, sitting undisturbed in its space. So this was what his father brought him here for…

"You gotta be kiddin' me!" A masked Joe called Beachhead exclaimed. "You're gonna let some average punk operate that mechanical what-not now? Don't we have enough snot-nosed kids in this team already?"

"AHEM!" A youthful voice called out behind him. Beachhead stepped aside to let a teenage red haired girl pass through. "I'll just pretend I didn't hear that, Beachhead…" she turned her eyes to Shinji, analyzing him physically. "…well, he's not quite the Eva pilot I initially imagined. What do you think about him, Snake-Eyes?" she asked…but her companion was nowhere to be seen. "Snake-Eyes…where are you? Stop fooling around, this is serious!"

Shinji sensed an unusual presence behind his back and turned round. He sprang in fright when he came face to face with the ninja in a black skin-tight suit. But the strangest thing was, however, he was hanging upside down, supported by a single thread of wire strong enough to hold him.

"You're no Spider-man, Snake-Eyes." Misato commented, crossing her arms. "You get down from there."

Snake-Eyes obeyed and dropped onto his feet. He looked at Shinji as if he was a painting, tilting his head sideways curiously.

"Um…" Shinji gulped nervously, feeling disturbed. "…what exactly is he doing?"

"Being himself, of course." Misato answered. "But don't worry, he's not going to hurt you. You'll get used to him soon enough."

"And by the way, he doesn't talk…at all." said the red haired girl. "Don't ask why, because we don't know."

"Who are you?" Shinji asked.

"Scarlett." she replied, whispering up to him: "But you can call me Asuka…Asuka Langley Shikinami." It was quite a handful to remember. "Well then, now that you're here, I presume Cobra's gonna get the major ass-kicking it deserves, with TWO Evas to worry about!" she said, pounding her palm. "Wait 'til they get a load of you and me together!"

But Shinji was not listening, for he was staring up at an office window where General Hawk was coldly observing the whole scene. Visions from his childhood flashed before his eyes, and he could only feel resentment towards his alienated father. All the Joes weren't blind to see how cross he looked…

"Are you okay, Shinji?" Misato asked.

Shinji clenched his fists, raising his voice, saying: "No! I'm not helping him! I'm not helping him in any of this!" he strode back into the elevator, unwilling to see his father anymore.

Joes stared at each other in confusion as whispers began to rise.

"Well…" Asuka widened her eyes in amazement "…that was very precise…and straight to the point."

"Boy's got an attitude problem, Scarlett. That's all it is." Beachhead crossed his arms, leaning against a pillar. "Ain't nothing you can do about it."

"Now come on, guys!" Misato tried to reassure them. "He's had a hard first day. Give the young man some time and space to think for a bit."

Beachhead shrugged careless. "Your call, Lady Jaye. You're the one who's meant to be watching out for the little fry…according to the man upstairs."

"Don't worry," Misato said, rushing hastily to the closing elevator. "things can only get worse before they can get better, I swear!"

"Kinda fancy Hawk's kid." Asuka said with a grin and a raised brow. "I think he's cute."

Beachhead only frowned at Scarlett and shook his head, walking quietly away. "Kids…" he murmured.

…

"Pen Pen, I'm home!" Misato said as she unlocked the door.

Shinji followed behind, helping Misato carry their supermarket bags into her new apartment…not to mention her javelins, which seemed unnecessary. Why Misato wanted to bring weapons to her place was beyond anybody's understanding…

"Come on in, it's okay." Misato said, leaving the entrance open. "I spoke to General Hawk and told him you were still up for the job."

"I'm not." Shinji grumbled.

"C'mon, you just need to unwind." Misato insisted. "Hawk said you could stay at my place."

"Well…" A hesitant Shinji said, taking his first step inside. "…thank you for having me here, Miss Jaye."

Misato let out a deep sigh of frustration. "Listen, my home is your home now. And cut the formality. Just call me Misato!"

"Okay, Miss Jaye…Misato."

Shinji carefully placed the bags and javelins onto the dining table, ignoring Pen Pen as he stepped out of his refrigerated room. He was too tired to take notice of Misato's pet penguin and he dragged his heavy feet towards the bathroom, locking the door behind him. First he was going to take a bath…and then take his long-yearned sleep.

"Shinji, aren't you gonna have anything to eat before you go to bed?" Misato asked generously, but she heard no answer. "Sheesh, what a grouch." she thought to herself. "I'll leave your bedroom door open. Have a good rest, it's gonna be a busy day for you tomorrow. I think you're gonna love the new school you've been enrolled in."

Misato grabbed a can of beer from the fridge, walking to her bedroom with her departing words. "And lighten up, okay? Everything's gonna work out just fine."

But Shinji's ears were blocked, his head half-submerged in the bathtub as he looked up at the dimmed light of the ceiling…always so deep in thought…

…

The next morning…

"YO, JOE!"

A naked Shinji leaped from his bed when a thunderous voice shouted in his ear through a megaphone. He hid under his covers, his heart racing, his mind still dazed, and his ear ringing in pain. He couldn't help but moan, still exhausted from yesterday's events.

"Duke, this is the voice of God saying: GET YOUR LAZY ASS OUT OF BED!"

Shinji checked his wristwatch. "But it's five in the morning." he groaned, letting out a huge yawn and burying his face under his pillow. "School doesn't start until eight o'clock."

A tough pair of hands gripped his ankles from the edge of the bed, yanking him from out of his covers and dragging him across the floor and into the living room. Shinji tried to resist, scratching his fingernails on the floor, then searching frantically for something to cover himself with.

"Up and atom, junior!" said the macho man with a green tank top, military hat and silver sunglasses. "It's your first day of training with your new drill instructor: ME! Your old pops asked me to come and shape you up good against those Cobra slime balls! So from now on, you'll be seeing me before, middle and after school hours every day on the dot, no excuses!"

Misato crept out of her bedroom, in her t-shirt and panties, rubbing her weary eyes. "Ugh…what's all the commotion out here?" she wasn't fully awake when she accidentally stepped on Shinji's erected…

"AIIIEEE" Shinji cried in anguish.

"AAAH!" A terrified Misato recoiled back against her fridge. "WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?"

"Morning, Jaye!" said the drill instructor. "Get up on the wrong side of bed as usual?"

"YOU?" Misato pointed at his hairy mustache. "Just what are you doing here? And how did you get in?"

She failed to notice the broken down door at the entrance, marked with a huge boot print.

"Tried knocking but it didn't work. I'll get it fixed later on in a jiffy." The drill instructor assured her. "But at the moment, I'm here to make Duke become a REAL man…and I already see a start!"

Of course, he was referring to Shinji's visible erection…his first case of morning wood. Shinji blushed as his face changed to an embarrassing red, hiding his shame with his bare hands.

Misato tried to hide her fit of giggles as the drill instructor laughed in amusement, saying: "Get dressed, junior, double time. You're in for a hard morning's workout, or else my name isn't Sergeant Slaughter!"

…

Author's Note: Ah…first chap done! Find out what kind of torture Shinji's going to have to endure next with his new drill instructor. And who else might he meet in the future?

Feel free to review if you'd like, I'll get to read them when time allows it. Constructive criticism is always welcome.

(Psst…any Joes/Cobras you guys want to see?)


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: (10/02/10) Guys, thanks for pointing out the plot hole as to why Shinji's training with G.I. Joe, despite saying that he refuses to join. Since I haven't made it very clear in the story, I've added some extra dialog, hopefully to explain why he's still hanging round in Tokyo-3 and hasn't left. But hey, if you guys think it's still not clear enough, lemme know. Always appreciate your feedback.

...

Chapter Two

…

Antarctica…

"Quickly!"

The father yelled, pulling his little daughter by her wrist as they hurried towards the seafront. Only one escape pod remained, and very short time was left. The father lifted his frightened daughter into the pod, operating the control panel. But the buttons were soon splattered with blood…when a sharp blade emerged from his chest and through his button shirt.

The daughter wiped the bloodstains off from her face and gasped in shear terror when she witnessed her father, murdered by a cold dagger belonging to a man…his face concealed within a metal mask. As the father choked his last breath and slumped to the floor, the masked man turned his attention to the girl, his malevolent eyes staring at her before the pod sealed itself shut and escaped to the ocean…

…stretching miles away before a massive explosion blinded the girl's vision for a moment.

…

"Jaye, wake up!" A familiar voice shouted in her ear.

Misato jumped from her seat in fright, awoken by Ritsuko, who had noticed her napping away whilst waiting for her laundry to be washed. The laundromat had become crowded during her sleep, and her clothes were still not done yet. A streak of sweat trickled down Misato's cheek, and it was clear to Ritsuko's eyes how distressed she looked.

"You okay?" Ritsuko asked. "You seem tense. It was that same dream again, am I right?"

Misato gave a painful nod and sighed, swallowing a lump down her throat. "It was. That same goddamn dream again…with that same goddamn man wearing that same goddamn mask."

"Relax. You're back in reality. He can't get you here."

"True, but you know what the scariest thing is, Mainframe? It's his cold heart stare. His eyes are so empty. I'd be scared to imagine what he was thinking. I'd be even more scared if he actually existed."

Ritsuko wanted to comfort her friend, but she was interrupted when she suddenly heard two dogs barking loudly behind her. Both girls turned around, to see Pen Pen flapping his wings and running away frantically from two fearsome dogs behind his tail. Junkyard and Order continuously barked away as they leapt from washing machines to dryers, knocking over boxes of laundry detergents, treading on dried clothes and wreaking havoc in the laundromat. Their owners, Mutt and Law, tried to end the madness by pursuing them. But the chase ended when Pen Pen leapt onto Misato's lap, embracing her for safety.

"Pen Pen! Just how did you get out of your cage?" Misato coughed at the sight of Pen Pen, now covered completely in laundry detergent. Junkyard and Order didn't look any better either.

"So sorry, Jaye." Law said. "Looks like Order has grown quite attached to your pet penguin!"

"A little too much, I think." Misato replied…Pen Pen couldn't agree with her more.

"It's not like Junkyard was going to do him any harm, let alone eat him."

Misato was doubtful about Mutt's words…and so was Pen Pen; he'd never been so frightened in his life. He grew nervous again, however, when a stranger approached him.

"How adorable." said a young and elegant girl's voice. "I never knew you owned a penguin, Lady Jaye."

Mana Kirishima gently patted Pen Pen on the head, making the poor penguin sneeze as he inhaled some detergent. Of course, 'Mana' wasn't a name she heard much from the Joes. More so, she was more commonly referred to as…

"Cover Girl, long time no see." Misato greeted her.

"It's good to see you too, Mainframe."

"My words exactly." Ritsuko smiled, putting out her cigarette. "So tell me, how's the Wolverine coming along?"

"Great. I think I'm getting the hang of it."

"Good to hear. Sounds like you're ready for another Cobra attack any day. Although I'm not sure if I could say the same for Hawk's son. He's still reluctant to join, but Hawk insists that he gets all the training he needs."

"He's tried to run away, but always ends up getting caught by Sergeant Slaughter." Misato sighed. "That guy's sure got a sharp eye on the kid."

Mana looked surprised. "Oh, yes. You're talking about Duke, aren't you? I've yet to meet the General's son. Where is he now?"

Misato inspected her wristwatch. "He's off on his daily afternoon jog with Sergeant Slaughter. He should be passing by here any moment now."

"Huh…what?" Mana frowned…until out through the window, she caught sight of Shinji running across the street for his dear life, saving himself from getting run over by Sergeant Slaughter on his Triple 'T' tank. "Well…the Sergeant sure knows how to keep a good soldier in perfect shape. " Mana said quite aloud, watching Shinji disappear down the end of the street. "I wonder if he is cute."

Maya Ibuki, one of G.I. Joe's top computer technicians codenamed Firewall, witnessed the short event as well, watching Duke and Sergeant Slaughter appear and disappear. "Who, you mean Sergeant Slaughter?" she asked Mana, grimacing.

"Oh no, Firewall. I'm talking about Duke."

"You're not the only one." Maya chuckled. "Rumor's about that Scarlett has her eyes on him too, ever since he moved here."

"Really?" Mana was shocked. "I thought she was more attracted to Snake-Eyes."

"Face it, the girl can't make up her mind." Shigeru Aoba, alias Breaker, intruded in the girls' brief chitchat. "She'll fall head for heels for anyone she thinks is cute."

"Hey, Breaker." Makoto Hyuga, otherwise referred to as Hi-Tech, tapped Shigeru on the shoulder. "You reckon you could spend the rest of your life wearing a dark skin suit like Snake-Eyes?" he teased.

"As if, Hi-Tech." Shigeru asserted his nerdy friend. "I'm surprised that guy can even breathe through that thing. What's your say on him, girls?"

Mana had nothing to say, except: "Weird."

Maya had never shared her thoughts about Snake-Eyes with the Joes. But now that somebody asked her… "I've never met anyone quite like him. Sometimes I've seen him sit and stare all day. It's so strange…and so unnerving…"

"No doubt he's the creepiest guy in my book." Shigeru said. "I wonder what it is that Scarlett finds in him."

"It beats us." Maya shrugged.

"Speaking of guys." Makoto said, looking over at a certain Joe waving at Maya from the washing machines. "It looks like Popeye over there is trying to catch your attention, Firewall."

Maya couldn't have felt more nervous to see the sailor Shipwreck, alongside with his parrot, Polly. "(Oh, no. Not him, again. Please don't ask me out!)" she felt. Persistent as he was, Shipwreck would never give up asking Maya out on a date…after having tried Mana, Misato, Ritsuko, Asuka and every other female Joe on the team.

Shipwreck let out a high-pitched whistle. "Hey, Firewall!" he called out. "Listen, this evening's my night-off. Wanna go out together to see the movies tonight?"

"RAH! RAH! See the movies tonight! RAH!" Polly squawked.

"Pipe down, Polly." Shipwreck scolded him. "Can't you see I'm-"

Just then, his washing machine beeped. Shipwreck went to collect his shirts. Instead of appearing navy blue, they came out as pure pink. "HUH?" Shipwreck frowned, reaching deeper into his washing machine to discover that his pants had also turned pink…and his socks…and worst of all, his underwear. "Swell! Well isn't this my luckiest day!"

Nobody could hold their hysterical laughter…not even Polly. Maya wasn't joining in the fun though. She just realized that she had accidentally mixed up her clothes with Shipwreck's…and it didn't take long for Shipwreck to fish out her pink nightgown from the washing machine.

Maya blushed with shear embarrassment.

"Um, does this belong to you?" Shipwreck asked her bashfully.

…

Meanwhile outside…

"NO MORE!" Shinji pleaded, panting desperately for breath, his shirt completely drenched in his own sweat. It was either that or end up being flattened by Sergeant Slaughter's Triple 'T' like a morning pancake. "THIS IS CRAZY! PLEASE, NO MORE!"

"What's that? You said want more?" Sergeant Slaughter asked him eagerly. "All right, you got it!"

"NOOOO!" Shinji cried in agonizing pain.

Sergeant Slaughter doubled the speed of his tank and sent Shinji sprinting as fast as a roadrunner on a highway. He ran so fast that he missed a pedestrian crossing, nearly crashing into Asuka as she was attempting to cross the street with a few Joes. Snake-Eyes was lucky enough to be there to tug her back to the sidewalk. The Joes watched as Sergeant Slaughter pursued Shinji in his vehicle in a flash before they vanished.

"Baka Shinji!" Asuka snorted, stamping her foot. "Can't he ever watch where he's going?"

"Sergeant Slaughter's sure got him runnin'. But who knows if he'll be ready when Cobra's comin'."

Asuka clenched a fist in frustration. "Roadblock, if you say one more thing today that rhymes…"

"Scarlett, chill. It's just the General's will. He wants…oh." Heavy Duty had inadvertently made a rhyme, making Asuka annoyed.

"Hmph! Snake-Eyes," Asuka huffed. "would you be so kind and escort me back home, and away from these two clowns?"

Snake-Eyes offered his arm, and Asuka willingly accepted it, walking together across the street as a couple.

"Scarlett, wait!" Heavy Duty called out to them. "Didn't you say you'd show me and Roadblock how to make sukiyaki?"

…

Elsewhere…

Mari Illustrious Makinami was a girl who would sacrifice anything for Cobra, even if it meant killing her best friend. She didn't care less of what her inferiors thought of her, all she cared about was getting the job done, which was why she never failed a mission for the Commander. She couldn't feel more proud as she entered the new Terror Drome. Cobra Vipers saluted at her arrival from the moment she stepped out of her Cobra Stinger. She marched past rows of Cobra H.I.S.S. tanks, all fully armed and equipped for battle, and stepped into an elevator, heading deep down below to the lowest grounds, into the experimental compounds.

Mari stepped out of the elevator once reaching her destination, where two B.A.T.s were guarding a heavily secured entrance, its height stretching as high as three giraffes…at least. This was indeed one of Cobra's largest test facilities, and the Commander, for a 'special surprise' that he wouldn't dare spoil for her, had summoned Mari here. Whatever it was, Mari wanted to know what this 'surprise' was. For one thing, it definitely wasn't her birthday.

As she stepped forward, Mari removed her glasses, staring up at a camera fixed to the ceiling that scanned her eyes with an infrared laser. After her identity was confirmed, the doors automatically unlocked. They slid open for the Cobra agent, while a synthetic voice from the speakers revealed her codename:

"Welcome, Baroness."

Mari froze after taking her first step inside. The facility was in utter disarray and panic was everywhere. Lab technicians were rushing back and forth from their control panels, ignoring Mari's presence. Beyond them, there was something very alarming. It was an Eva, acting destructively unstable. What was worse, however, was that it was holding someone in its hands…

"HEEEEEEEELP!" Cobra Commander screeched, struggling to break free from the giant robot's tightened grip. "SOMEBODY STOP THIS MANIACAL TIN CAN!"

Destro, Cobra's main manufacturer, knew how much danger they were in, and couldn't allow the Eva to continue its uncontrollable rampage within the Terror Drome, or else they'd all perish. "Abort the experiment and cut the power!" he commanded.

The power was cut…but the Eva was still active…and still going berserk as it slowly began to crush its cowardly victim like a paper cup.

"No, please!" Cobra Commander begged, reaching his arms out. "Please have mercy!"

Words did nothing for him, and he was forced to endure his punishment as the Eva squeezed his bones…

"Give me a shot." Assassin and mercenary Major Bludd had a clear shot of the Eva's head on his missile gun, and insisted that he fired. "Give me just one shot and I could end this all right now!"

"NO!" Destro ordered him to lay down his gun. "It's too much of a risk! You might end up killing her!"

"Only thirty-five seconds until complete shutdown, sir! The auto-ejection has been activated!"

"WHAT?" Destro let out a startling gasp. "I didn't-"

"NO!" A doctor with a monocle yelled.

The Eva's entry plug suddenly burst out, rocketing to the ceiling for a few intense moments before dropping down with a loud crash.

"Ten seconds…nine…eight…"

"Don't kill me! Let me go!" Cobra Commander cried, pushing his hands against the Eva's mighty fingers. "I don't want to die like this! I can't!"

"…three…two…one."

As the Eva stood motionless, it released its deathly grip on Cobra Commander as he slowly slipped through its fingers, falling to the ground with a loud thud. Technicians helped the poor Commander up onto his feet, but he rudely pushed them away in disgust.

"I'm fine, you nincompoops!" he exclaimed, wiping the dust off his uniform and adjusting his faceplate. "Just wait until I get my hands on that double-crossing child!"

The doctor with the monocle rushed to the damaged entry plug, opening its seal to reveal… "REI!" The doctor cried in utter relief, learning that his child was still alive, although severely injured. He took the fragile girl into his arms and carried her out, laying her gently onto the ground. "Rei…speak to me!"

"Fa…ther…" Rei whispered under her breath.

Cobra Commander stood there watching the drama take place, but was in no way moved by the girl's miraculous survival. Chicken-hearted for one minute, the next minute he was stone. He strode furiously, shoving the doctor aside and slapping the timid girl fiercely in the face.

Rei collapsed, hitting her face on the ground.

"You despicable two-faced scoundrel!" Cobra Commander hissed, drawing his Desert Eagle and cocking it in point-blank range to Rei's forehead. "I should have popped your brains full of lead a long time ago!"

"STOP THIS AT ONCE, COMMANDER!" The doctor stepped in to embrace his petrified child. "It was all an accident, a miscalculation! It was MY fault, not hers!"

"Out of the way, Dr. Mindbender!" Cobra Commander wouldn't spare the time to listen to his cohort's sympathetic excuses. "Need I remind you that you are merely Cobra's chief interrogator and science officer. There's nothing in your file that classifies you to go off acting like Mother Teresa!"

Dr. Mindbender refused to move aside and let the Commander have his way of killing his poor child selfishly. "We just need to give her more time to adjust to the Eva. She'll serve us well, Commander. All I ask is for a little more time."

Cobra Commander paused, thinking about Mindbender's words and watching Rei tremble in fear before him. "Fine…I'll let your little darling princess live. But the next foul-up like this, I won't be so soft-hearted."

With that said, he grumpily marched away towards Destro and Mari, who were in the middle of a conversation with another Cobra agent.

"Cobra Commander. Baroness and I are glad to see that you're unharmed." Destro said in relief.

"Yes," Mari agreed. "I was worried for a moment that you were about to be done for."

Cobra Commander simply snorted, unmoved by their heartfelt concerns. "Cut the beeswax, you two. Just what is all this commotion about?"

"Scrap-Iron here tells us that he has some breaking news concerning G.I. Joe." Destro informed. "It appears that our friend, General Hawk, has recently recruited his own son to pilot a new Eva."

"WHAT?" Cobra Commander hissed. "Tell me this is some kind of a joke!"

"It's true, Commander." Cobra agent Scrap-Iron confirmed with him. "You better come and take a look at this..."

…

Author's Note: Sorry for the long wait. I guess I was enjoying too much of my summer and I completely neglected my fanfics for a while. You may or may not have noticed the little change I've made in Maya's character (in case you're unsure what I mean, I've made her heterosexual, something she wasn't quite in the anime). So for any diehard Ritsuko/Maya fans out there, sorry to disappoint.

Comments, good or bad, are always welcome. If you have any character requests, I'd be happy to read them any time. See you soon! YO, JOE!


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